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| Agfa APX400, probably Leica M6 with 35cron, processed in DDX |
Lately, I have finally dug out dozens of my unprocessed films since 2011, a mixture of 35mm to 120mm, and even some 4x5 negatives, to process them. (the above is a frame from the first roll I begin scanning now in the early morning of 22 Aug 2014)
And it happens that today, 22 Aug 2014, is the official mourning day of MH17 crash victims in Malaysia. My unifi TV at home is showing the condolences message reminding us to mourn, as the bodies arrive back Malaysia today.
Life "stops" inside us sometimes, when something big, painful, or life-changing happens to us. That's the time when we begin so engrossed with what we are going through, mostly painful, struggling between moving on and lingering in our pain. Some of us are more sensitive in our emotions, some of us not. In this case, probably the less sensitive are more fortunate.
I am kinda surprised I can even remember some of the shots I took... the place, the mood, the situation I was in... after more than 3 years... but of course, I have problem remembering some of them.
The fact I stated year 2011 is also because of some of the shots I remember... the person/s in the frames, the places...
They always say, when you remember something so deeply, it's either an extremely happy or an extremely sad time you had.
If you look at my blog, you would have noticed I stopped blogging for more than 2-3 years. My life kinda "stopped" over things I was going through.
There's no doubt that pain is the best teacher in life, provided that we get through it, which we can if we keep at it. There are just too many things we don't have answers for, which we either keep on thinking and searching OR we move on and let the answers come to us (if they ever come to us). That's my way of moving on. I choose to take life easier, because life is too short and there's not enough time for me to do the things I love, and to love the people around me.
I am mourning for the lives lost in Iraq, in Syria, in Gaza, in MH17, in MH370, in Nigeria... we have seen much in the recent times.
May we treasure our lives and our loved ones and be contented with what we have daily, remembering our brains are just too little to understand God's ways in dealing with us. If we know we can't understand the whole picture, we shouldn't blame anyone.
